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Big Truck = Compensating For Something?

by: OrangeClouds115

Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 12:00:27 PM PDT

Forgive me for straying off the topic of food for a moment. I've got an idea, but I can't pull it off all by myself. For a long time now, I've wanted to put mean bumper stickers on trucks but I couldn't decide on the right slogan. "I hate my grandchildren"? They might not get it. "Blame me for global warming"? Maybe. (My brother suggested one saying "Cops are pussies" so they'd get pulled over by angry cops, but it doesn't send the anti-gas guzzler message.)

But then I came up with a good one: "My big truck compensates for my TINY PENIS." Perfect! Of course - it'd be a waste of my own money to print these stickers which would inevitably get torn off and thrown away quickly by the drivers of the Hummers I'd put them on.

How about a YouTube video instead? We could have guys talking about how for years they tried devices they ordered off the internet, herbal treatments, Chinese medicine... show a guy with a penis growth chart on his wall measuring about 3"... and have the guys (wimpy looking guys) talk about how they finally solved their problem by buying their F-150 or their Expedition. Who needs a V-8 in bed when you've got one on the road?

Another idea is to have cute women watching cars go by and commenting on the men driving them... "Ohhh Prius! He must be well equipped!"

I can't make or watch video - does anyone else want to take this idea and run with it?

OrangeClouds115 :: Big Truck = Compensating For Something?

Tags: Global Warming, energy, (All Tags)

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Big Truck = Compensating For Something? | 3 comments

I'm going to be no help to you in the video-making (4.00 / 2)

but I do have a suggestion: the truck-drivin' men shouldn't be wimpy looking. They should be big manly guys. It makes the "small penis" thing funnier.

For years at this address, I had a wonderful neighbor: a lovely man, a fine gardener, a flight attendant by trade. He drove an unpretentious old beater. To judge by the company he kept, there were no concerns about his personal endowments.

Sadly, he sold the house and moved away, and the two guys who bought it "as-is, fixer-upper" tore down a garage and some fencing, destroying much of my back yard. They built up to the property line then threatened me with a survey. They used my back garden hose indiscriminately in mixing and pouring concrete, and when I asked them to stop, they were affronted and accused me of being unreasonable.

In short, crap neighbors, right? Wanna guess what vehicle they drive?

Heh. All I can say is: they don't drive it very often these days.

"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." --Michael Pollan, In Defense of Food

by: Anne Hawley @ Sun Jul 13, 2008 at 04:44:23 AM UTC

by: you @ soon

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Well, as you know... (4.00 / 1)

I am The World's Greatest Artist.

;-P

But videos are unfortunately not my forte...

Fantastic idea, though. I'm laughing just thinking about the video. But do you really think bumper stickers would be that much of a waste? Who checks the back of their vehicle every time before they get in and drive somewhere?

They'd of course be removed eventually - but I'd say it's quite possible that with even 10 stickers, you'd have at least 3 or 4 driving many miles around with them for a few days each...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

by: JayinPortland @ Sun Jul 13, 2008 at 09:55:59 AM UTC

by: you @ soon

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yeah but... you wanna bankroll it? (4.00 / 1)

My recent T-shirt venture cost me some $1500 and I've got a large suitcase full of T-shirts to drag off to Austin now so I can get rid of them and recoup the $$ at long last. I'm DONE.

by: OrangeClouds115 @ Mon Jul 14, 2008 at 06:44:34 AM UTC

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