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Thu Jun 24, 2010 at 12:35:39 PM PDT
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| A few months ago, I had dinner with Linda Bacon, author of the book Health at Every Size. The talk turned to our kids (or step kids in my case) and pretty soon we were laughing over the funny - and sometimes amazing - things our kids did. Among my favorites was her son's response when a friend's mom asked him what his favorite thing about McDonald's was. Her son has never eaten at McDonald's. He replied: "They have nice bathrooms."
One of the stories about her son was so wonderful that I asked if I could share it here. She kindly obliged me, writing up the story in her own words, below. I realize in our food movement, there's a lot of talk about "obesity" as a code word for the sum total of the problems in our food system expressed in their most visible form. Linda's work goes against this conventional wisdom, instead encouraging everybody to work towards health instead of a pre-defined notion of an "acceptable" body size that some people are genetically never destined to achieve in a healthy way. And, as we work towards health for everyone, shaming those whose bodies leave them out of our society's idea of an acceptable body size is not the way to go. Obviously, her son has learned her lesson of acceptance, as you can see in the story below. |
| Jill Richardson :: A Valuable Lesson from a Nine Year Old |
In my 9-year-old son's school, most tests end with a question intended to help the kids clarify their values and express themselves. Recently the question was, "What would you say if someone says "Your mother is fat."? My son's response? "So what! What's the big deal about being fat? Being fat is fine." I was also proud of the teacher for writing "Awesome" after his response. (She was also influenced by my research - and particularly my book, Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight.)
I asked the teacher about the class discussion that followed. (Sure wish I could have been a fly on the wall.) She said that she didn't have to facilitate the discussion because my son did it. Apparently he started the discussion by saying that people come in all sizes and shapes and we shouldn't stereotype and judge people based on their size. (The kids had earlier participated in a teach-in on stereotyping so they were primed for this.) One of his friends has been teased about his mom's weight, which is what motivated the teacher to get the discussion going. The boy feels ashamed of his mom and is anorexic (9 years old!). Isaac (my son) reassured his friend that not only was there nothing wrong with being fat, but that his mom had many great traits that were so much more important than what she looked like. And some of the other kids told the boys who had done the teasing that it wasn't okay to be so mean. Apparently they had a great discussion about why people tease and how hurtful it is. The teacher felt like it was a great learning experience for everyone and she thinks it will definitely inspire the kids who did the teasing to be more thoughtful in the future - and for everyone to be more thoughtful about weight issues.
It's heartening to know that we can raise the next generation to have a different value system. The teacher set it up, but the kids - 3rd graders - did it all on their own. (Of course, this is a very progressive school defined by its dedication to social and environmental justice, certainly not the norm, but it does show that it's possible.)
Another interesting, but sad, point in all this is that the fat mom is an incredibly well-accomplished, impressive woman, who stands out in other ways that usually get a lot of culture approval - she's a partner in a major law firm, for example. But that got eclipsed by the teasers and her son because she's fat. |
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