There's this little girl

Oh, no... (4.00 / 3)

Sorry to hear about this.

I really have no idea what to add here.  If there are no signs of physical abuse, I'd strongly advise against getting any state or other authorities involved.

Biting my tongue here - something from my own history comes into play here (Jill knows), and I wanna talk about it but don't really want to put it all out in public.

I know where you're coming from, though.  Just don't know if there's anything you can do besides try to make her smile?  Sometimes life's just like that, it sucks but we can't save the world.  But maybe that's just because I'm still a bit bitter that I couldn't even save my own daughter?

I don't know.

......................

On another point -

I am so glad I graduated eons ago when teachers actually taught stuff.

They want to!  Unfortunately, the deck seems just as stacked against them as anybody else in the current system.  At least, in most places.  Certainly can't blame them for rote "teaching to the test", at the expense of encouraging other ways of thinking.  "Leave no child behind", my ass...

I didn't really get much out of my public school years ('84/'85 - '96/'97), but I did bump into a few great teachers along the way.  Still remember their names.  Oddly enough, they all taught history.  That ended up being my favorite subject.  Coincidence?  Nah.  But I think they (and the subject) had more leeway / room to maneuver than most, maybe?  Meh, who knows.  Somebody probably does, but I don't.

Of course, I was a screwup as a kid, too... especially post-7th grade or so.  So that probably played a part as well in my not getting the most out of my education?

But I'm just rambling now.  Heh.  Think I'll stop here for the moment...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Tue Sep 01, 2009 at 00:19:32 AM UTC

what kind of store? (4.00 / 4)

and do you have the means to buy her healthier food yourself?

"I can understand someone from Iowa promoting corn and soy, but we are not feeding the world, we are feeding animals and soft drink companies." - Jim Goodman

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by: Jill Richardson @ Tue Sep 01, 2009 at 03:28:22 AM UTC

Convenience store. (4.00 / 3)

And no, they pay us less than a living wage.

There is a reason why the employee turnover rate is so high...unfortunately, given the current jobs climate, I'm lucky to have anything at all.

It's also possible that this family buys their "real" food elsewhere; I don't think these kids live on ramen all the time.  They seem pretty healthy, overall, so it's possible the family situation is more stable than I know...it's the not knowing that gets to me.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin Trillin

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 06:21:04 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Yeah to this... (4.00 / 3)

unfortunately, given the current jobs climate, I'm lucky to have anything at all.

I'd give anything for regular work these days.  Up until about 12 months ago, I had pretty much a perfect resume and one of the most stable job histories possible.  Until it all collapsed, of course...

I've tried for convenience store jobs myself over the past year, and not heard back from one.  Frankly, I'd love the experience.  Guess I'm just a bad age, though... the hiring managers probably figure 30 year olds will be gunning for their jobs.

And so the temp warehouse gigs continue, heh...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 06:32:25 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Jay...how I got mine was (4.00 / 3)

they were doing on-the-spot interviews.  Show up at the appropriate store (I had to take a bus & got off at the wrong store & walked the rest of the way), then fill out an application, then talk to a store manager -- I spoke with two, both of whom wanted to hire for nights.

Well, the first guy couldn't get me a day shift & nights are out if you don't have a car b/c the buses stop running.  But the second manager, who came up to speak with me while I was still working on the application, read it over, and ran a store I could walk to.

Serendipity?  Yes.

Plus, I liked her & she liked me.  Now corporate does a background check on you (no felonies, please! lol) and of course there's a drug test.  Pass those two & you're hired.

I still haven't had a poppyseed muffin or bagel, just in case....

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin Trillin

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 06:48:07 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Thanks, wish I could find them! (4.00 / 3)

The places 'round here that do things like that are either out of transit range for me in the first place, or (just like you said) are only hiring for shifts in places where you can't get to by bus for the designated start time.  Like the truck stop at Jantzen Beach / Hayden Island.  Or Troutdale. Etc, etc...

I was immediately hired on the spot almost a year ago for a delivery job I interviewed for, but it required being in the NW Industrial area at 4 AM to start.  Buses couldn't get me there any earlier than 5:45 or so, and I certainly wasn't gonna wake up at 1:30 AM every day and walk 2 hours there from here in SE.  Thought about buying a bike (yes, I'm the only person in Inner SE Portland who doesn't own a bike, lol) and doing that, but realized it'd still be over an hour each way... and only for a little over 9 dollars an hour?  Meh, forget about it.

No felonies or drugs here, lol.  Although I did smoke up the last time a little over 2 years ago, and I'm not at all opposed to a little weed here or there.

:)

I'm starting school up again in a few months after earlier this year's "false start", and I'll be in school for at least the next six years.  Or maybe seven, or eight.  I'm doing it the right way this time, though.  And I know where I wanna go.

But as for the job stuff now?  Bah.  Nothing here, in anything!  It's starting to get ridiculous...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 07:16:22 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Trust me, you DON'T (4.00 / 3)

want that job.  Neither did I: but I had to have income, fast, and while it sux, it's better than nothing.  Not much better than nothing, but better than being on the street.

I would quit in a heartbeat if a better job came along and I believed the economy was turning around.

NO and NO.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin Trillin

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 09:11:22 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Another thing to think about (4.00 / 4)

is that some folks (even young ones) are simply more serious than others. My friends have a child like that (now ten, but she's been like that since she was 4 or so). She's into reading rather than playing, and it seems like she never laughs or giggles. She prefers talking to adults over playing with kids her own age. I was kind of old/serious for my age too.

It's impossible to guess whether your girl is serious or overburdened. You could just try to be her friend (or mentor!) and see what happens. She might open up or you might find little ways to encourage her. Find out whether and what she likes to read and lend her a book or introduce her to an inexpensive craft or hobby like origami or woven bracelets. Another thing you could do is mention Big Brothers, Big Sisters to her and see if she's interested.  

I wish I knew half what the flock of them know
Of where all the berries and other things grow,
Cranberries in bogs and raspberries on top
Of the boulder-strewn mountain, and when they will crop.
--"Blueberries" by Robert Frost

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by: wide eyed lib @ Tue Sep 01, 2009 at 14:45:47 PM UTC

She did smile one day (4.00 / 3)

at something I said (I don't remember what).  Didn't see her today...but it was grocery day & I was busy unpacking boxes, if she came in at all.

I think I will try asking her what grade she's in...I posted this at Big Orange, too, and a lot of commenters suggested praising her for her abilities with math, and just generally trying to be supportive.

And as you say, she may just be serious.  I do think she's the oldest child & has to look after her younger sisters...that could certainly be a major factor.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin Trillin

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 06:28:05 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

You can't do anything (4.00 / 3)

without finding out more about her, can you? WEL's comment about reading made me think of this. Is she willing to converse? Can you ask her nice questions?

Have you never seen her with an adult? That seems odd, if she lives in the neighborhood.

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by: count @ Tue Sep 01, 2009 at 17:09:41 PM UTC

As far as I can tell (4.00 / 3)

she lives right across the street...and she's certainly old enough to cross the street by herself.  So a parent could say, for example, "Here's $20, go get me minutes for my cell phone," or, "Here's the WIC card, go get us some ramen for dinner."

IIRC, she's also bought milk by the gallon & refused a bag, so she's probably not as young as I think she looks...but definitely more junior high than high school, I think.  Or maybe a mature 6th grader.  My conundrum is the old joke:  "The [college] freshmen are getting younger every year!"

Next time I see her, though, I will ask what grade she's in, does she like school...and maybe build up to does she like to read?  If she says yes, maybe I can find an age-appropriate book after further conversations about what she likes to read (and what she's already read).

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -- Calvin Trillin

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by: Youffraita @ Wed Sep 02, 2009 at 06:39:34 AM UTC

[ Parent ]