The 5 Worst Drinks Ever

What?! (4.00 / 4)

I am, for the first time I can ever remember, speechless...

What can be said, especially about the 'top two'?  Wow...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 05:36:11 AM UTC

more than an entire day's worth of calories (4.00 / 3)

not to mention fat or sugar.

Hehe I bet they taste pretty good though. Even if drinking the whole thing might make you feel sick.

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by: OrangeClouds115 @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 05:47:39 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

And I wonder... (4.00 / 3)

if those things are ever bought to 'wash down' one of the 1200 calorie sandwiches from the Panera or Subway that's sure to be a few hundred feet down along the same highway strip from the Baskin Robbins?  Purchased via 'drive-thru window', of course...

How common are 3,200 calorie lunches in Fast Food Nation?

No wonder we're a nation of (biting my tongue, hard)...

Do you think they really would taste good, though?  Of course to the average fast 'food' consumer I'm sure it would - but like yesterday, when I occasionally give in and be a 'good sport' and have a slice of cake at work to celebrate somebody's birthday there, I taste the friggin chemicals in those things...  

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 05:59:57 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

who knows (4.00 / 2)

the last chocolate shake I had tasted great. I had a tummy ache afterwards though. And it was from a more natural, organic-y sort of place, although I don't know if their shakes are organic or not... the main attraction was the grass fed beef, which I obviously wasn't there to eat.

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by: OrangeClouds115 @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 06:22:39 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

I Think This Counts (4.00 / 3)

more as being nitpicky than as contrarian, but it doesn't seem to me that any of these top five really qualify as "drinks", since they're more like non-solid desserts (with ice cream or an equivalent as the principal ingredient).  Sure, you can have one accompanying your meal, which is obviously far worse for you, but I'd bet that the overwhelming majority are sold as standalone items or as the finisher to some other (probably unhealthy) meal.  The Starbucks "runner-up" is the only one I'd think of as a drink in terms of beverage, so maybe that list is still waiting to be made.

(Disclosure:  I have a weakness, and will go significantly out of my way for a well-made banana milkshake, and my own "recipe" for shakes is pretty deadly, too, adding in molasses and an egg.  But I don't think of these as drinks.)

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by: The Maven @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 17:21:18 PM UTC

hehe then you wanna go make a list? (4.00 / 2)

Thing is though - these things ARE on beverage menus. Maybe less so in Baskin Robbins where you know you're there for ice cream but Jamba Juice is all about juice and smoothies, and in a normal restaurant, a milkshake qualifies as a drink.

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by: OrangeClouds115 @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 20:32:45 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Can't Claim To Be Qualified (4.00 / 1)

in terms of what would really make for the "worst", though it would be more than just calories. sugar and fat -- chemical additives would have to play a part as well, I would think.  The overall size would also need to be taken into account (e.g., most of these would appear to be in the 30-32 fl. oz. range, which generally would mean more than a full pint of ice cream or its equivalent -- which is four portion servings worth right there).

And yes, I'll concede to being extremely picky here about whether these are "drinks", but as you point out, Baskin Robbins is all about ice cream to begin with, and even at Jamba Juice, this Peanut Butter Moo'd is listed under Creamy Indulgences, which is kind of a giveaway that healthfulness doesn't factor in.  (Maybe it's me, but the idea of any "drink" with peanut butter in it is just repulsive.  Nuts in desserts, fine; in beverages, nope.)

Separately, we should be thankful -- though in a bizarre way -- that the companies here post all the information about these items in fairly easily accessible form, at least online.  I can't say for the stores themselves, though I could go check the 24-hour BR two short blocks from me and ask (seeing all the calorie counts miught be amusing, too).  But I'd defy anyone to read through the ingredient list for the worst offender here and still have much of an appetite:

Ingredients: reduced fat milk, heath bar crunch ice cream (cream, nonfat milk, caramel ribbon (corn syrup, sweetened condensed whole milk (milk, sugar), water, high fructose corn syrup, butter (cream, salt), propylene glycol, sodium alginate, salt, natural and artificial vanilla flavors, potassium sorbate (preservative), soy lecithin, annatto color, sodium bicarbonate, propyl paraben (preservative)) , heath® bar candy pieces [milk chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, chocolate, nonfat milk, milk fat, lactose, soy lecithin (an emulsifier), salt, and vanillin (an artificial flavoring)), sugar, palm oil, dairy butter (milk), almonds, salt, artificial flavoring, and soy lecithin], sugar, corn syrup, toffee base (sweetened condensed whole milk, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, water, natural flavor, disodium phosphate, and salt), whey powder, cellulose gum, mono and diglycerides, guar gum, carrageenan, polysorbate 80), fudge topping (corn syrup, sugar, water, hydrogenated coconut oil, nonfat milk, cocoa (treated with alkali), modified corn starch, salt, sodium bicarbonate, disodium phosphate, potassium sorbate (a preservative), natural and artificial flavors, soy lecithin), jamoca ice cream (cream, nonfat milk, sugar, corn syrup, jamoca extract (coffee extract, sugar, potassium sorbate and methyl paraben (as preservatives)) whey, caramel color, cellulose gum, mono and diglycerides, carrageenan, polysorbate 80, carob bean gum, guar gum), caramel praline topping (corn syrup, sweetened condensed whole mil, water, sugar, modified food starch, butter, salt, propylene glycol, natural and artificial flavor, sodium citrate, xanthan gum, lecithin, potassium sorbate and propyl paraben as preservatives), hershey's® heath® milk chocolate english toffee (milk chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, chocolate, nonfat milk, milk fat, lactose, soy lecithin [an emulsifier], salt, and vanillin [an artificial flavoring]), sugar, palm oil, dairy butter (milk), almonds, salt, artificial flavoring, and soy lecithin), whipped cream (whipped cream (cream, milk, sugar, dextrose, nonfat dry milk, artificial flavor, mono & diglycerides, carrageenan, mixed tocopherols (vitamin e), to protect flavor, propellant: nitrous oxide).

Mm-hmm, doesn't that just make your mouth water?  You'll all be happy to know, however, that the Heath Bar Shake does not contain crustaceans.  Phew, that's a relief!

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by: The Maven @ Mon Aug 04, 2008 at 02:48:29 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

I was curious as to the size of the drink (4.00 / 3)

...so I flipped over to Baskin-Robbins website.  That large size of the killer Heath bar shake is 32 ounces. These quart-sized soft drinks (or in the case of 7-11's Super Big Gulp, an entire friggin' half gallon cup of soda!) just amaze me.

I notice that the first ingredient in the Heath bar shake is 'reduced-fat milk.'  Gee, how health-conscious of them...

The Heath Bar shake may be the worst over-all, but others top it in various categories.  The large Oreo shake is 2600 calories, while the large Reese's Peanut Butter shake has 150 grams of fat (but only 60g of it is saturated.)

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by: DebtorsPrison @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 17:27:53 PM UTC

Lol... (4.00 / 3)

I notice that the first ingredient in the Heath bar shake is 'reduced-fat milk.'  Gee, how health-conscious of them...

Who ever said these companies don't have a sense of humor?

Do you recall back in the late 80s / early 90s that 7-11 had an even bigger size fountain drink?  It was one size larger than the Super Big Gulp, I kid you not.  The cups looked like the large 'popcorn' containers at movie theaters.  Just can't remember what it was called.  They were literally the size of my head, if not slightly bigger.  I know because I did get them a few times as a kid.  Cringing now just thinking about that...

I'm not sure if they still have them anymore, though...but I'm tempted to check later today when I'll pass near a 7-11 on my way back from dropping the rent check off...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 18:50:14 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

geez... even if you drink a whole bunch (4.00 / 2)

of reduced fat milk, you're still drinking calories. Maybe calories with nutrients and calcium but they ARE calories. There's a reason why normal sized glasses aren't an entire quart (or for that matter, a half gallon).

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by: OrangeClouds115 @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 20:34:23 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Like the Snackwell's thing, right? (0.00 / 0)

Oh - these have slightly less fat and calories, so you can eat a whole bunch more of them!  

Putting aside for the moment the obvious fact that the things are still processed crap - that thinking kinda defeats the purpose there, doesn't it?  Unless the 'point' is just eating for the sake of eating...

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks." - Christopher Hitchens

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by: JayinPortland @ Sun Aug 03, 2008 at 21:35:00 PM UTC

[ Parent ]